


Kick Them Off The Planet

by ScarsLikeVelvet



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Civil War Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Team Iron Man, The Plotbunny made me do it, not team Cap friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:14:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22837642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarsLikeVelvet/pseuds/ScarsLikeVelvet
Summary: In another story I read something along the lines of "People don't even want to live on the same planet as them anymore" and my brain was assaulted by a plotbunny.Here you can read what happens when Tony Stark and Jack O'Neill are friends ... something like that.
Comments: 71
Kudos: 463





	Kick Them Off The Planet

Tony was still delirious from the pain meds and narcotics the doctors had given him during the sixteen-hour long surgery after the events in Siberia when he first talked to General Jonathan "Call me Jack" O'Neill, who was the acting Secretary of Defence.

"What happened, Tony?", the grey-haired military man wanted to know while standing beside his friend's bed.

"Rogers … Barnes … let … let Fri show ya," Tony slurred. He had to fight to keep his eyes open.

Jack nodded and took out his Stark phone. He unlocked the screen and a video started to play.

_Iron Man arrived shortly after Captain America and the Winter Soldier at the HYDRA facility deep in the Siberian tundra. Together they stepped into the old bunker, where they discovered the five dead persons in the colossal chamber._

_Barnes confirmed they were the five Winter Soldiers he had told Zemo about back in Berlin._

_Together they threatened Zemo, who confessed to instigating the terrorist attacks that had been blamed on Barnes as well as the schism within the Avengers. He revealed his intent to destroy the group from inside out as a punishment for their actions in Sokovia, which had resulted in the death of his wife and son._

_Moments later a video started playing. Tony's breath hitched when he realised it was security footage from the night his parents died. He had to watch how the brainwashed Bucky Barnes shot one of his parents' cars' tires and bashed in his fathers face with his metal fist, before strangling his mother._

_Understandably infuriated Iron Man started to attack the Winter Soldier only to be stopped by a furious Captain America who did not even attempt to stop the fight from happening. Instead, he forced Iron Man to back away and told him "It wasn't Bucky. It wasn't his fault." Although they all had seen the same footage where Barnes indeed was the one who killed Tony's family. Steven Grant Rogers didn't even deny he had known since the data dump from S.H.I.E.L.D. who had killed Tony's family. He hadn't cared, because Barnes was his top priority. Tony wasn't even an afterthought from the looks of it._

_An all-out no holds barred battle ensued between Iron Man and the two super soldiers._

_The Unibeam from the ARC reactor in Tony's chest cut of Barnes' arm, when he tried to pull the reactor out and a moment later Captain America started to hit Tony with his Shield. First breaking the helmet, before raising the weapon high and aiming for Tony's face. At the last moment, he changed his target and rammed the Shield straight through the ARC reactor, the surrounding armour and Tony's chest cavity, before rising and stepping back._

_While Tony tried to breathe, Rogers helped Barnes to his feet and they stepped away._

_Tony told him to leave the Shield as it belonged to his father and Rogers wasn't worthy any longer. The Shield was thrown down on his bubbling chest and they left him in the icy bunker without caring if the man who had financed Steve Rogers life for the last couple of years since he had woken from his nap in the ice and whose money he had used to find his best friend who was coincidentally Tony's parents killer._

_Tony lost consciousness and a moment later the video ended._

Jack growled almost inaudibly.

"What do you want, Tones?", he asked his friend. Carefully he enveloped Tony's hand in his.

"Don't wanna live … on tha same … planet as … Rogers, Roma … nova … Barton … Maximoff … and Wilson," Tony told him, fighting for every breath.

Jack smiled. As acting Secretary of Defense, he had considerable resources and since he was still technically in charge of the SGC since General Hank Landry had royally fucked up, he knew just what to do.

"Consider it done," he told Tony and watched with a smile on his face, how the injured man drifted back to sleep helped along by the medication in his bloodstream.

  
oOo

  
Two hours after his short visit at Tony Starks bedside Jack O'Neill stood beside an equally infuriated SG1 and SGA1 team. All of them carried either ZATs (SG1) or Wraith stunners (SGA1) and were waiting for the "Go".

Colonel Caldwell nodded and they beamed down into Wakandan territory where the rogues were holed up and nursed their wounds from their battles. Before anyone had a chance to react they were stunned by the precise shots of the invading soldiers.

When King T'Challa entered the room and wanted to go to battle his younger sister Shuri stopped him.

"Wait. Let's talk," she said.

"Why are you here and what are you doing?", T'Challa growled.

Jack grinned a cocky grin. 

"Taking out the trash. Before you get angry. You can keep Barnes. At least until Tony decides he wants him. I'll take the Rogues of your hands and I promise you won't ever see them again and no … they are not dead," he told them.

Before T'Challa could say anything Shuri nodded. 

"Okay. You were never here … they weren't either. Only Sergeant Barnes," she agreed.

Seconds later Caldwell beamed them and their cargo out. 

Once back at the SGC they carried the motionless bodies of Captain America, Scarlet Witch, Falcon, Hawkeye and Black Widow through the gate to an uninhabited planet. They set the planets gate to self-destruct as soon as the connection was closed so they wouldn't be able to get back to earth. They kindly left them with basic survival gear a good way away from the soon to be non-existent gate, before leaving the planet.

Back on earth they high-fived and watched how the gate vanished from the net.

  
oOo

  
"Friday? Any chance you know where the Rogues are?", Tony asked his AI when he was back home weeks later. He was still easily exhausted but he had sought refuge in his workshop and he simply had to know.

"Sergeant Barnes is in Wakanda. Princess Shuri tells me he asked to put in cryostasis until something could be done about his trigger words, but he is amenable to be woken for whatever you wanna do with him," Friday answered.

Tony blinked.

"And Rogers and Co?", Tony prodded.

Friday took a moment.

"Not on the planet anymore," she finally said.

"Hu?"

"I can't find them anywhere even if I go Skynet," Friday admitted.

It took Tony a moment to remember. He had thought it was a dream.

"Jack," he said full of amusement.

Moments later he was asleep on the plush new sofa in his workshop. Secure in the knowledge the Rogues would never again sneak up on him and get the chance to kill him.


End file.
